Do you have a fear of flying? Do you know in your mind that you have a much larger chance of dying walking across the street than in a plane crash, yet still get anxious when you fly? Do you reason with yourself, tell yourself that people fly ALL THE TIME and survive but still sweat and get an upset stomach when you fly? Do you know your fear is totally irrational? My answer to all of those questions is a resounding YES.
Later, as my son got older, my anxiety grew. I absolutely HATE flying now- luckily not enough to stop. I do not do well flying alone- thankfully I do not do that often. I do best when AJ, Jason and I fly together. I once had someone tell me that it was strange that if the plane went down, I would want my family together. I guess that is true, but having them with me just makes me more comfortable. Even AJ knows my fears and does his best to comfort me. I am so thankful he doesn’t have my same fear.
A lot of people fear take off and landing. Not me. I actually start to feel much calmer when I know we’re descending. I have this fear when we’re in the middle of the sky that all of the sudden we will take a huge drop. I have these crazy thoughts. What if someone didn’t tighten the screws in the plane? What if the door just flies open? What if this plane is too old and it falls apart? Then I think to myself about my friends who fly weekly, and how Jason flies all the time and how they have not had any problems. I realize this is a total control issue and when I am not in control, I get anxious. I look around on the plane and see how calm people are. I am always watching the flight attendants to see if they look worried or not. It always makes me uneasy when the flight attendants do not serve drinks and have to sit down because of a bumpy flight.
I know I am not alone in my fear of flying. I spoke to my doctor about it a year or so ago and she told me she feels similar (she has 3 kids). She even gave me a prescription for Xanax to take before my flights. I haven’t tried it yet though because I don’t know how it will affect me. I tell myself I not THAT bad.. Rather than Xanax, I will drink a few glasses of wine and of course, that helps!
So, I will continue to fly, and I’m sure I will continue to be anxious- but I know I cannot let it take over my life. I firmly believe that whatever happens is meant to be. I just hope and pray smooth flights are meant to be in my future!